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RuPaul’s Drag Race S9 – “Good Morning Bitches” Recap

Gooooood morning Queens! Yet another episode of the world’s draggiest TV show and my my my what a disappointing episode it was! Let’s get to it!

Sundae Co. | RPDR S9 Girls

We find the girls in the workroom after Kimora’s elimination and learn that apparently the stick up Aja’s cucu about Valentina being pretty is still very present. I’m bored by Aja a this point. I need her to impress me ASAP. This episode was a lot of workroom drama and then 30 seconds of runway and I hate when they do that. The runway looks are half of what these girls get judged on, so it always feels like we’re being cheated a little. Plus, we didn’t even get to see the final morning shows – though I guess with them being “live” we already did? I don’t know. This week felt weird. Mostly because I was watching it Sunday morning in bed and not Friday night in a bar… Oh well!

We go right into the main challenge where the girls are spilt up into groups to act as rival morning show casts. Aja and Trinity serve as team leaders and split up the groups, choosing poor Nina Ramalamadingdong last which gets her all upset… More on her later. We are shown, yet again, how Eureka is the most obnoxious queen this season. I am super over her attitude and personality and honestly, her drag hasn’t really made me want her around any more. Trinity does her best to control the situation, but it seems as though Eureka’s goal this episode was to knock down her pageant competitor and try to make her look bad. Which worked, I guess…

Team Aja sets the bar pretty high as basically all of their segments go off without a hitch – save for Valentina and Aja of course. I blame Aja in this instance. She flubbed lines and gave off a very awkward vibe the entire time she was on camera. Alexis didn’t stand out as much as I wanted her to; she is an actress after all… Shea and Sasha killed it this week. I was so glad to see those two get some more camera time and show off their senses of humor. That was my favorite part of the whole episode, by far!

Sundae Co. | Shea and Sasha gif

Team Trinity totally fell flat, with not even Eureka and Nina’s funny DIY bit saving them. It was rough. Peppermint let me down a bit too as I was certain she would have no trouble acting and playing a character, but she just didn’t have a good day here. Now, let’s talk about Charlie Hides. Her emotional speech on the fact that she lost a lot of her friends to the HIV/AIDS crisis in the early years of the epidemic was heartbreaking and I think that all those emotions may have gotten in her way this episode. She was a total control freak when it cam to the challenge (which actually doesn’t surprise me very much) and she really turned me off with her overbearing directions to Miss Cucu. She should have focused more on her own performance, which clearly could have used some help…

And now we come to the drama section of the episode. Why are these girls (read: Eureka) so quick to argue? I was yelling at her through my screen while Sasha was just trying to talk… I was super annoyed that she got even more screen time than she deserved this episode. I don’t know. I am such a Eureka hater? Moving on.

We are then treated to the shortest runway in herstory – which is actually not a bad thing since most of these looks were pretty sloppy. I was so excited to see some naughty nightgowns and sexy slips on the runway, but some of these girls showed up for a dominatrix party (or if you’re Nina Banana Split, you showed up as a skeleton/demon/poster child for breast implants?). My favorite runway looks were:

Sundae Co. | Shea runway gif

Shea looks sexy and sickening in this look

Sundae Co. | Farrah runway gif

Was not surprised at all that Farrah looked gorgeous on this runway

Sundae Co. | Trinity runway gif

Trinity looked stunning, but I do wish she had a robe or nighty over this

Sundae Co. | Valentina runway gif

Yet again, Valentina slays the runway. My favorite look of the night.

What. The. Heck. Was. Peppermint. Wearing? Girl. You can’t have honestly thought that looked sexy or even like a nightie? Majorly let down by that look and with her performance in the challenge, I was super nervous we were going to see her have to lip sync… Charlie stepped out onto the runway and I thought “You just saved yourself.” She looked gorgeous, but I think took the fact that she was wearing a nightgown too literally and was actually asleep… I really think she gave up at this point.

Sundae Co. | Charlie runway gif

*yawn*

Ru has Shea and Sasha step forward and my first thought was “Ok, if THEY are safe I am dying to know who she thinks did better!” but happily she announces them as the winners this week! I was thrilled to have those two get the praise they deserved this week for sure (even though Sasha’s runway look was not my favorite). Also, can we talk about how they won $1000 and a one year supply of hamburgers? I LOL’d so hard. If I won my first challenge and got a pile of burgers, I’d walk off set. Damn VH1… Who is in charge of prizes this season? Fire them.

When Team Trinity is told they are all up for elimination, we get the extra juicy question “Who should go home tonight?” I was not shocked that a few of her teammates threw Trinity under the bus and was certain she’d be lip-syncing, but was not sure if Peppermint or Charlie was going to join her. And now we talk about Nina Bonina I’m Bored Brown… I get it. She does crazy looks. But again I will just say that they are not executed well. This makeup was a mess. And just because she cried, I feel like the judges babied her and gave her a decent review. I am just waiting for someone to finally say that she just needs to come out in some drag. This is not Face Off and while I appreciate her new take on what drag can be, it is just too much for me. I’m going to try not to mention this every week. No promises though.

Sundae Co. | Violet gif

Anyways, it comes down to Peppermint, Trinity and Charlie and Peppermint is safe by the visible thong under her nightgown and we get to see Charlie and Trinity battle it out. Or should I say, Trinity OWN THE STAGE while Charlie does her best Westworld background saloon hooker impression. Can we talk about Trinity’s LSFYL? Can we please talk about it?! She killed it. And not only because Charlie had actually died on the other side of the stage… Charlie gave up and it was super disappointing to not even see her try to give us a show. Trinity shante’s and Charlie sashay’s away back to Boston or London or wherever she came to us from and that brings the fourth episode of the season to a close.

By the 4th episode, I usually have a favorite – if not a top three – and I am not sure where I stand as of yet. I love Sasha, but mostly because she is different and modern. I love Shea and Alexis, but need them both to step it up so I have more evidence as to why they should win. I love Valentina because she is gorgeous and goofy and is my pick of Miss Congeniality this season.

Sundae Co. | Valentina gif

Next week we will be witness to the (hopefully) hilarious Reality Stars: The Musical and I am hoping for some frontrunners to step forward and start the race! See y’all next week!

Sundae Co. | RPDR S9E4 Scorecard

*slinks back into bed*

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